The Political Hearings Drinking Game

I've been listening to the House Judiciary Committee (or whatevertheheck the real name for it is) proceedings on this Clinton impeachment, and I think we need a drinking game. I'm trying to make this balanced, although I'm probably penalizing the Republicans a bit, but pour out a couple of shots, pick a party, and listen. It'll make the whole thing a lot more interesting.

Contributor initials or partial login ID in parenthesis although I've edited heavily, if you want recognition or a link, tell me.

• One sip for any use of:
  • "the children" or "our children"
  • (JJ) "the American People", two if followed by one of "want/believe/expect"
  • (AT) the phrase "moral leadership" or "high moral standards" or other phrases implying that politicians are expected to have any morality at all
  • (AT) any use of the phrases "immoral but not illegal" or "reprehensible but not impeachable" or various permutations
• One sip for mispronunciation of a word. Two sips if that word is 5 letters or less.
• One sip for anyone requesting proof of innocence to unsubstantiated allegations
• One sip for use of pretentious sounding words which don't exist. Choose your own level of pickyness, but the OED should be fine for most cases (this usually happens when they're getting tired).
• If the same sound bite is used to support two opposing arguments, both sides sip. Two sips if each side trims different words off the beginning or end to support their point.
• One sip for any politician using as support a "Founding Father" with whom the politician would normally disagree, such as a Republican quoting a Federalist.
• (tripp) Every vote on a completely useless motion strictly along party lines, take a drink (you'll get drunk fast doing this).
• (tripp) Every time a (Republican) congressperson asks a witness how their family is doing, take a drink.
• (tripp) Take a drink for every Republican committee member that is female or a person of color. . . wait, never mind.
• (tripp) Every time someone says something that would be illegal under the Communications Decency Act, take a drink.
• (PL) One sip each time a charge against Clinton is mentioned.
• (PL) One sip for each mention of "executive privilege". Two sips if it's mentioned by a Democrat.
• (PL) One sip anytime a picture of the American flag comes into view. (I've been listening, so haven't seen the full multimedia glory

Your additions and suggestions will be gleefully incorporated. Any long-term alcohol based damage caused by playing this game should be blamed on the morons involved.

Friday, December 11^st, 1998 danlyke@flutterby.com