The Concise Show Biz Dictionary

Forwarded from friends in the biz......

To schmooze = befriend scum
To pitch = grovel shamelessly
To brainstorm = feign preparedness
To research = procrastinate indefinitely
To network = spread misinformation
To collaborate = argue incessantly
To freelance = collect unemployment
Agent = frustrated lawyer
Lawyer = frustrated producer
Producer = frustrated writer
Writer = frustrated director
Director = frustrated actor
Actor = frustrated human
High concept = low brow
Production value = gore
Entry level = pays nothing
Highly qualified = knows the producer
Network approved = has made them money
Net = something that apparently doesn't exist
Gross = Michael Eisner's salary
Back-end = you, if you think you'll ever see it
Residuals = braces for the kids
Deferral = don't hold your breath
Points = see "net" or "back-end"
You can trust me = You must be new
It needs some polishing = Change everything
It shows promise = It stinks rotten
It needs some fine tuning = Change everything
I'd like some input = I want total control
It needs some honing = Change everything
Call me back next week = Stay out of my life
It needs some tightening = Change everything
Try and punch it up = I have no idea what I want
It needs some streamlining = Change everything
You'll never work in this town again = I have no power whatsoever

Friday, May 14th, 1999