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Elizabeth Warren, Cougar

2019-10-03 20:56:42.897795+00 by Dan Lyke 4 comments

So serial surrealist Jacob Wohl held a press conference today. RT Will Sommer @willsommer:

Today’s Jacob Wohl press conference topic:

Elizabeth Warren, cougar?

Ignoring the fact that "Elizabeth Warren, cougar?" would make an awesome yard sign, apparently he distributed some bad fan-fic apparently written by someone who'd never actually had sex before, with someone whose explanation for his injuries on Instagram didn't agree with the testimony of the press conference.

The internet exploded in hilarity. RT Louisa🌈👭 @LouisatheLast:

Imagine thinking that Liz Warren would be LESS cool if she had a BDSM affair with a 25 year old, muscular Marine

Michael Stahlke @MichaelStahlke

Seriously though. Jacob Wohl just tried to claim that a septuagenarian law professor can outfight, outfuck, and presumably outdrink our brave marines.

The media got involved: A Trump booster promised to reveal the whistleblower’s name from his front yard. The neighbors just laughed.

And then came the epic finale: RT Elizabeth Warren @ewarren:

It's always a good day to be reminded that I got where I am because a great education was available for $50 a semester at the University of Houston (go Cougars!). We need to cancel student debt and make college free for everyone who wants it.

[ related topics: Interactive Drama Photography Erotic Sexual Culture tolkien Current Events Journalism and Media Net Culture Education Conferences hubris ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment Re: Elizabeth Warren, Cougar made: 2019-10-03 21:47:58.533191+00 by: Dan Lyke

RT Sarah Hollowell 🦝 @sarahhollowell

Me: okay I'm awake time to check Twitter
Twitter: he has a triple X tattoo and all of his claims are easily debunked by his instagram
Me: what
Twitter: the marine who said he had bdsm sex with Elizabeth Warren
Me: WHERE DID I WAKE UP

#Comment Re: Elizabeth Warren, Cougar made: 2019-10-03 22:12:39.410252+00 by: Dan Lyke

RT Eric D. Snider @EricDSnider

Elizabeth Warren is great, but that wasn't a subtweet it was a domtweet, sorry I'm trying to delete this

Followed up by:

Warren's gonna beat Trump so bad he'll think he's a 24-year-old Marine.

#Comment Re: Elizabeth Warren, Cougar made: 2019-10-03 22:39:55.250206+00 by: Dan Lyke

And since everyone was suggesting that Jacob Wohl should have turned to Chuck Tingle, Chuck has weighed in:

do all asking, YES i have followed this story about scoundrel trying to make up strange and fake erotic story about liz warren (and he sounds like a dang GOOFBALL) but i do not write tinglers about famous ladybucks they have enough to worry about already. would rather talk on lizs ideas of future

#Comment Re: Elizabeth Warren, Cougar made: 2019-10-04 23:45:37.578595+00 by: Dan Lyke

And the Marine Corps have weighed in: Ex-Marine Who Claimed Sexual Involvement with Elizabeth Warren Lied about Military Service, Corps Says

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