Flutterby™! : Incarcerate the kids

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Incarcerate the kids

2003-02-12 16:55:46+00 by Dan Lyke 4 comments

A modest proposal: Let's turn grade-school students into inmates.

Details need to be worked out, but I want every child in California to be given a 13-year prison sentence at age 5, with the possibility of a four-year extension.

That way, the $7,000 the state spends per student each year could immediately be raised to $27,000 -- what the state spends on each inmate annually. And our criminally under-funded schools would qualify for the only category in the governor's proposed budget that's slated to get more money this year.

I hadn't thought about this, but think about how many children we could educate if we just let the pot smokers and the trippers go free.

[ related topics: Drugs Children and growing up California Culture ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment made: 2003-02-12 18:42:19+00 by: other_todd

OK, I loved this modest proposal tremendously. Just wanted to say that.

#Comment made: 2003-02-12 20:05:06+00 by: Pete

This leads into Yakov Smirnoff's one genuinely clever line, which came as part of a riff on prison costs, education in prison, etc.: "Use a gun, go to Yale."

#Comment made: 2003-02-13 00:47:49+00 by: Dan Lyke

Oh dear. I just learned that Yakov Smirnoff has a web site. Apparently he's big in Branson, Missouri. I shouldn't have looked, I'll be regretting that use of those neurons for a while.

I liked the bit about the "Russian Express Card", but maybe because I was a teenager exposed to lots of horror stories from folks behind the Iron Curtain. And I only liked it the first few times.

#Comment made: 2003-02-14 00:03:47+00 by: Pete

Dan, I'm torn between apologizing, and pointing and laughing...