Flutterby™! : Emeril vs. Cthulhu

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Emeril vs. Cthulhu

2003-10-10 19:53:01.478264+00 by Dan Lyke 4 comments

I've been looking for a context in which to link to Columbine's rant about Sandra Lee's "cooking" show. I couldn't really bring up much venom for the comments there, because the last time I saw cooking shows was probably the last time I flew JetBlue and tried to escape the evil which was The Food Network staring out from the seat back in front of me. Obviously there are exceptions, but if you want to talk about style over substance...

With that in mind, go read Emeril vs. Cthulhu:

Another cover removed. A single pork chop lay on the platter. Glops of color had been dolloped on the plate in an attempt to decorate it, but instead had the unfortunate effect of looking like Jackson Pollok vomited on the dish. The pork chop itself was relatively benign. Until the devilcook pulled out a single bottle of Essence. A mixture of several spices designed to destroy the natural flavor of anything it touches, Emeril dumped half a bottle on the pork chop. A brief noise could be heard, as if the pork chop itself was rebelling from this, the last indignity.

Narylhotep shook it's headlike appendage again. It was feeling slightly ill. How could this be? Narylhotep fed on souls and the terror of mortals. No normal food, however vile should be able to bother it. But this...

[ related topics: Food Television ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment Re: Emeril vs. Cthulhu made: 2003-10-12 21:43:56.040238+00 by: other_todd

Sandra Lee, Dan. Sara Lee is a baked goods company.

#Comment Re: Emeril vs. Cthulhu made: 2003-10-12 22:38:54.1972+00 by: Dan Lyke

Whoops. Edited. Yeah, I know "Sara Lee" is a baked goods company brand, and assumed that (like Martha) there was an actual human behind it and she now had a cooking show. That all combined to make the "nd" invisible. As someone who only gets occasional exposure to broadcast TV, I had no first-hand experience with the particulars.

#Comment Re: Emeril vs. Cthulhu made: 2003-10-13 01:28:52.046264+00 by: other_todd

Sara Lee is actually kind of a corporate behemoth - not quite at the Nestle, Kraft, or Unilever level when it comes to foodstuff dominance, but, just to give you an example of owning things you might not expect: They own Hanes. Yes. Makes one wonder why they don't combine brand power and come out with a risque "cheesecake" underwear line.


You will also note that one of the questions in their FAQ is whether there really was a Sara Lee.


#Comment Re: Emeril vs. Cthulhu made: 2003-10-16 17:46:42.671788+00 by: Shawn

Huh. It says she's a "computer enthusiast".