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2005-05-18 00:34:25.475014+00 by Dan Lyke 2 comments

Via Entries in Life, a review of Episode III, which will probably be the largest grossing film that nobody will admit to having seen:

Mind you, how Padmé got pregnant is anybody's guess, although I'm prepared to wager that it involved Anakin nipping into a broom closet with a warm glass jar and a copy of Ewok Babes.

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comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment What's going on here. made: 2005-05-18 17:30:07.302083+00 by: td [edit history]

Having seen it at work on Monday, I can't imagine why anybody would want to deny having seen it.

Anthony Lane (the reviewer here) complains of having to spend 25 years of his life paying attention to Star wars (you know, I bet he didn't spend more than about 6 days total on them), but gives every evidence of not having seen the SW movies at all, or indeed of ever having paid attention inside a cinema. For example: Did Lucas learn nothing from "Alien" and "Blade Runner"—from the suggestion that other times and places might be no less rusted and septic than ours. Did he not see Ep IV, the epitome (and originator!) of the rusted/septic look in SF movies, from which Ridley Scott learned his every tic? Another example (complaining about the lack of sex (in a children's movie!!!!): the Lucasian universe is drained of all reference to bodily functions. Nobody ingests or excretes. Have I missed some great body of (non-porn) excretion cinema? (The Everyone Poops trilogy, maybe?)

What a maroon.

(Bias disclosure/brag: I worked on Ep VI many years ago.)

#Comment Re: lucas is a moron made: 2005-05-18 20:54:01.050536+00 by: Mark A. Hershberger

See Lucas' first movie (THX 1138) and I think you'll have a better idea of where the reviewer gets his ideas about Lucas. (Star Wars Trivia: THX 1138 had the first recorded use of the word "wookie".)

The quote Dan pulled shows us how familiar the reviewer is with Lucas' work. Anyone who has seen THX would know that he is refering to the (lack of) procreation in that movie.

I admit to not seeing many Star Wars movies (IV may be the only one I've seen). However, from the poor quality of acting in IV, I can't imagine that people are going to Star Wars flicks to watch a good movie.