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Veritas Airlines

2006-09-15 13:39:58.176893+00 by Dan Lyke 9 comments

Welcome aboard Veritas Airlines:

At Veritas Airways, your safety is our first priority. Actually, that is not quite true: if it were, our seats would be rear-facing, like those in military aircraft, since they are safer in the event of an emergency landing. But then hardly anybody would buy our tickets and we would go bust.

[ related topics: Humor Aviation ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment Re: made: 2006-09-15 15:43:51.404457+00 by: other_todd

I love The Economist.

#Comment Re: made: 2006-09-15 16:01:30.584373+00 by: Dan Lyke

Yeah. And as Brad pointed out (this one's really making the rounds), this sounds an awful lot like a speech I've heard on a Southwest flight (which is the first place I heard the now oft-repeated "...and if you're traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.")

#Comment Re: made: 2006-09-16 01:20:47.899265+00 by: TheSHAD0W

The article text about cell phones isn't true; cell phones have been known to cause problems with navigational instruments. The in-flight phone service is possible because cell phones have the ability to adjust their own RF signal output, and having a base station mounted on the aircraft causes the phone to lower its output to the minimum.

#Comment Re: made: 2006-09-16 01:43:12.029696+00 by: Dan Lyke

But it is true that the restriction on cell phone use is an FCC one, not an FAA one. Or at least that's what my private pilot friends tell me.

#Comment Re: made: 2006-09-16 19:29:27.947741+00 by: Larry Burton

I was told that if I used my cell phone in a small private plane it could cost me to be billed double or triple because I could be using more than one cell tower to make the call. I was and am a little skeptical of that answer.

#Comment Re: made: 2006-09-22 01:39:50.455474+00 by: Oog

It's an FCC regulation because the FCC handles radio interference testing, not the FAA. The FAA probably tells the FCC, "Don't let the planes crash, EVER."

Interestingly, the FCC doesn't test devices to ensure that they don't emit RF. They test them to ensure that they handle RF emitted from other devices. The labs are cool, buildings built from fiberglass with glue instead of bolts. :)

So, if they say, "Turn off the cell phones", it's more than likely because no one has paid to do the testing, and the flight electronics aren't certified to tolerate cell phone signals.

Now imagine constructing a test to see if a plane's electronics are able to handle 400+ emission sources, while the sources are moving in relation to the plane... Now, add a buggy phone.

#Comment Re: Larry's comment. made: 2006-09-22 01:42:23.636069+00 by: Oog

You won't get charged multiple times for your call. The phone call will only be handled by a single cell site at any time. :)

Depending on your altitude, you may end up with problems maintaining the connection because you are travelling through them too quickly but you won't get charged multiple times.

#Comment Re: FCC info on cell phones on planes. made: 2006-09-22 01:47:06.418347+00 by: Oog

Seems I'm wrong!


#Comment Re: made: 2006-09-22 01:54:18.109941+00 by: Dan Lyke

I believe that the frequencies may also be close enough together that there could be doppler shift issues with full-strength signals reaching ground towers.