Flutterby™! : queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy

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queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy

2015-12-31 19:46:04.32498+00 by Dan Lyke 2 comments

Just copied over for safe-keeping from a Facebook thread, in which I observed that "I'm pretty queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy...", and I've been working on clarifying that statement in a couple of contexts, so a few comments down I wrote:

When I square dance call, especially for gay clubs, I will often wear my "Gay Caller's Association" badge, and have gotten into several conversations of "so... you're clearly straight, why is that your chosen affiliation?", and that's led to a bunch of thinking and discussion on why sexuality and gender identity matter and why they don't.

And I guess I'm kind of coming to something along the lines of "unless we're going to get naked and intimate together, none of those things really *should* matter, and my sexuality involves a level of closeness that I really don't have the bandwidth to maintain with more than one person at a time. So if sex is off the table, then it's kind of my responsibility as an ally to muck with people's expectations around sexuality and gender."

[ related topics: Interactive Drama Erotic Sexual Culture broadband Bay Area Nudity Work, productivity and environment Community Furniture ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment Re: queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy made: 2015-12-31 20:20:05.575053+00 by: Larry Burton

That's been my thinking for a while. If you and I aren't having sex then I have no interest in what your sexuality is and I have no inclination to discuss mine with you. And I should make no assumption regarding one's sexuality based on one's mannerisms or interests.

#Comment Re: queer for a vanilla het monogamous butch guy made: 2016-01-13 15:52:03.30466+00 by: meuon

"an ally to muck with people's expectations" = tweaking the status quo. Fabulous.

I like to hang with some gay friends for the intelligent conversation, lack of football/sports religion dogma, good food... and am OK being the "Token Straight Guy". Oh.. yeah, and I'll Contra Dance either side..

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