Straight People don't start 'til late at night
2018-01-11 22:48:10.860567+00 by Dan Lyke 0 comments
Yes! Engaging in sex work taught me more about respecting boundaries than school, TV, or anywhere else. I’m so grateful for it, but also furious that so many of us miss this important education early on. We need to talk about sex and consent!
Quoting Lorelei Lee @MissLoreleiLee:
The public narrative says that whoring means making yourself indiscriminately available when the truth is the opposite - whoring is all about setting exact limits for when and under what circumstances our bodies can be touched.
(Lorelei Lee's whole thread is worth a read)
Immediately above that, there was a Tweet from Elf Sternberg:
Straight people. "I guess the sex and drugs didn't start until after 12:30am and all the boring fuckers have gone home." https://medium.com/@paulbiggar...orse-than-it-sounds-29f4a3c7e4b8 … Seriously? The last party I went to, I left at midnight; by then, I'd already tied up four women and two men. :-)
And:
The power trip described in that story is gross. But it's also... weird. Like, that delay until after midnight just feels wrong. Don't these people have lives in the morning? Weren't they working all day? Does cocaine give you the illusion of energy reserves?
I think that something happens in our repressed culture. When we put up all of these walls and boundaries around sex, we make it unspeakable, and we end up with this weird- ass uncanny valley in between sex and hoping that sex might occur, rather than being able to talk about it honestly. And it's in this space where it becomes really easy to forget power dynamics, rather than specifically explicitly playing with the power dynamics.
And we have to be really careful when we wrap ritual and meaning around sex without acknowledging that, at the center, there's sex, we end up with these weirdly coercive situations.