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Weird SPAM o' the Day

2003-07-08 02:16:55.720099+00 by ebradway 9 comments

I usually just delete what makes it past the SPAM filters, but today I got something titled:

Dimensional Warp Generator Needed

And decided it need closer examination. Details in the comments...

[ related topics: Spam History Monty Python Mathematics ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment made: 2003-07-08 02:17:29.221011+00 by: ebradway


We need a vendor who can offer immediate supply. I'm offering $5,000 US dollars just for referring a vender which is (Actually RELIABLE in providing the below equipment) Contact details of vendor required, including name and phone #. If they turn out to be reliable in supplying the below equipment I'll immediately pay you $5,000. We prefer to work with vendor in the Boston/New York area.

  1. The mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with z80 or better memory adapter. If in stock the AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79 induction motor, two I80200 warp stabilizers, 256GB of SRAM, and two Analog Devices isolinear modules, This unit also has a menu driven GUI accessible on the front panel XID display. All in 1 units would be great if reliable models are available
  2. The special 23200 or Acme 5X24 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement. Needed with complete jumper/auxiliary system
  3. A reliable crystal Ionizor with unlimited memory backup.
  4. I will also pay for Schematics, layouts, and designs directly from the manufature which can be used to build this equipment from readily available parts.

If your vendor turns out to be reliable, I owe you $5,000.

Email his details to me at: info@federalfundingprogram.com

Please do not reply directly back to this email as it will only be bounced back to you.

tar bfdorvchshfjzwgoash wwzk smvjxkoqi m lsrwtrvzwix akw ud

#Comment made: 2003-07-08 02:57:06.471381+00 by: ghasty

Yeah, I got it too...

#Comment made: 2003-07-08 06:52:26.641973+00 by: Brian [edit history]

Yeah, I remember getting something along these lines a few years back. "Time traveller urgently needed" was the catchphrase.

There seems to be a sub-species of spam that's not trying particularly hard to sell anything, they just sent it because they can. My favorite so far merely states the following:

> Call out Gouranga be happy.
> Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga.
> Say Gouranga my friend..
> Gouranga.......That which brings the highest happiness.

Right. More power to 'em.

#Comment made: 2003-07-08 13:27:38.590009+00 by: meuon

They are tracking deliverable addresses.. hoping for a reply.

#Comment made: 2003-07-08 13:50:36.504204+00 by: petronius

Greetings: I am Yxcv Mxyzptlk, third son of the late General Mnbv Mxyzptlk, former Lord Dictator and Grand Breeder of the Centauri Empire. I have limited access to his ill-gotten fortune of 2,000 macroplegs of pure dylithium, and can only remove it with your help, for which I shall gratefully repay you with a hefty percentage and life immortal. All I need is your Temporal Bank Account number and a valid IP address.......

#Comment made: 2003-07-08 22:33:19.434012+00 by: baylink

I can beat that. To death. With a stick.

I got some spam last week, personally addressed to me, telling me:


> By re-analysing Heisenberg's Gamma-Ray Microscope experiment and the ideal 
> experiment from which the uncertainty principle is derived, it is actually found that the 
> uncertainty principle can not be obtained from them. It is therefore found to be 
> untenable. 

It continues:

== Heisenberg's Gamma-Ray Microscope Experiment

A free electron sits directly beneath the center of the microscope's lens +(please see AIP page http://www.aip.org/history/heisenberg/p08b.htm or diagram +below) . The circular lens forms a cone of angle 2A from the electron. The +electron is then illuminated from the left by gamma rays--high energy light +which has the shortest wavelength. These yield the highest resolution, for +according to a principle of wave optics, the microscope can resolve (that is, +"see" or distinguish) objects to a size of dx, which is related to and to the +wavelength L of the gamma ray, by the expression:

dx = L/(2sinA) (1)

However, in quantum mechanics, where a light wave can act like a particle, a +gamma ray striking an electron gives it a kick. At the moment the light is +diffracted by the electron into the microscope lens, the electron is thrust to +the right. To be observed by the microscope, the gamma ray must be scattered +into any angle within the cone of angle 2A. In quantum mechanics, the gamma ray +carries momentum as if it were a particle. The total momentum p is related to +the wavelength by the formula, ==

All of which makes me think some quamtum physics student somewhere got baggy-pantsed, since I don't recognize the sender's address.

#Comment made: 2003-07-09 13:49:55.928066+00 by: ebradway

I'll have to read that paper in detail later - but I bet he was wearing one of Alex Chiu's swank rings and ran his gamma ray microscope using cold fusion.

#Comment made: 2003-07-10 19:15:29.358815+00 by: TheSHAD0W

The "gouranga" one is looking to implant a meme. Expect some commercial product by that name to come out shortly.

Probably an extension to Grand Theft Auto...

#Comment made: 2003-07-10 19:18:23.503558+00 by: TheSHAD0W

Oh, and here's something... If you go to http://www.federalfundingprogram.com it will pop up a page seemingly saying you'd purchased something, click here to download. The downloadable turned out to be a .exe file.

Can you say -- spyware? Trojan horse? I knew you could...

I wonder how many people got directed into that one?