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Beyond gay marriage

2004-04-20 18:18:38.629435+00 by Dan Lyke 6 comments

The SF Chronicle talks to people who think marriage shouldn't be limited to just two people. Or at least that's how they couch it, it's a fluff piece on polyamory.

[ related topics: Sexual Culture Sociology Marriage ]

comments in ascending chronological order (reverse):

#Comment Well, now, there; see? made: 2004-04-21 05:33:23.286526+00 by: baylink [edit history]

All those slippery slope Republicans were *right*.

:-), for the irony impaired.

Though I have to admit, I didn't think it was all that fluffy at all; and "Polyamory is not an alternative to monogamy. It's an alternative to cheating," may be the best quote I've heard.

#Comment Re: made: 2004-04-21 15:00:48.306639+00 by: petronius [edit history]

"Very few polyamorous U.U. ministers are out of the closet..."

Of course, the alternate explanation might be that there aren't very many polyamorous U.U. ministers to begin with. BTW, is there anything the UU's are actually against? I suppose they are opposed to forest fires and kicking puppies, but other than that I've never heard any decent explanation of what they do believe in.

As to polyamory, I do follow a live and let live line, but these people always seem to be whistling past the graveyard. They set up elaborate, slightly defensive scenarios about how great these relationships can be, but it appears that they are more prevalent in Robert Heinlein novels than in real life. They almost seem be still convincing themselves, much less the rest of us.

#Comment Well, Petronius made: 2004-04-21 16:57:07.259282+00 by: baylink

I'd suggest you go lurk in alt.poly for a while.

Yeah, they're out there. Mrs. Grundy being what she is, 100 years later, they're mostly in the closet, for the obvious reasons. But yes, I know several, and they seem no less happy than the monogamous couples, same-sex and otherwise, that I know.

In my reasonably educated opinion, the gender of the people involved in a committed relationship has little to do with their happiness, and the number, just ever so slightly more so -- *except* where those relationships intersect with the reactionaries in the outside world.

So you just pull the curtains.

I can testify from lots of experience, some people's heads -- straight, gay, or bi -- are wired mono, and some people's are wired poly. The only dangerous thing is trying to mix them.

#Comment Re: made: 2004-04-21 18:23:59.625593+00 by: polly

i wonder if the U.U. church in chattanooga follows this polyamory philosphy...the article reads like a religious twist on swinging.

#Comment Re: made: 2004-04-21 18:30:28.77563+00 by: Shawn

I get the feeling the religious angle in the story was more to lend poly lifestyles some level of validity or acceptance (look, they believe in God, so they must not be *complete* freaks). Most of the poly people *I* know (which comprises about 25-30% of all my acquaintances) follow pagan faiths.

#Comment Re: made: 2004-04-21 18:44:06.267166+00 by: Dan Lyke

I'll bet there are poly folk in the U.U. congregation in Chattanooga. No personal experience with who's there now, but back when I hung out there...