Flutterby™! :

I forget yesterday, there's a new Mouthorgan, and, relatedly, Columbine writes a soul baring piece in Alewife Bayou on a father who betrayed trust for alcohol. Writing the entry above brought up a different gender-issue problem. Columbine of Alewife Bayou makes no secret of being Todd of Mouthorgan and vice-versa, in each case presenting a different gender. Being conditioned to believe that gender is related to genitalia (more than etymologically), I didn't know whether to say "her" or "his" dad. I've no problem picking a random gender when I'm writing in the abstract, but what about writing in the concrete about someone who freely adopts both genders? I suppose I should have used "her", except that the nature of the relationship described implied son to father. I shy away from the "zir" of the BDSMNLOP crowd because I no longer read much of that and am not used to seeing it in common useage, but maybe the rest of you are. Suggestions?