Flutterby™! :

Magitech, the "#1 Leader in Orgone Technology" presents the amazing life energy test:

1. Print the transfer diagram above.
2. Put the diagram on a table or any other surface. It should not be on your knee or in direct contact with any large living organism.
3. Now hold the center of the palm of any of your hands approximately one inch (3 cm) above the printout of the diagram.

You may be surprised to feel something almost immediately: either a slight tingling in your hand, a gentle cool breeze, or, as is the case with most people, an agreeable sensation of warmth in the center of your palm that may spread out from the palm.

Warning, don't print out the diagram at 72DPI or you'll open a vortex to the nether regions of an alternate dimension and have your soul devoured by slobbering demons. Along those lines, AquaClara "is bottled with 800% more pure oxygen than ordinary water." Ummm... H₂O, right? How do you fit 8x more O into that? Wonder what happens if you try to put out a fire with it...