Flutterby™! : Chapter and Perverse

In Clean Sheets, a Chris Bridges article titled Chapter and Perverse. Oh, never mind. Just go read it, it's funny.

Cats and small dogs are oddly attracted to thrashing humans and always always always pick the precise wrong time to suddenly lick your face. Also, as a rule: dogs are fantastically interested in sudden new smells while cats are drawn to play with dangly things. Be warned.

Also in Clean Sheets, Lube the World, I Wanna Get Off provides a little inspiration, even 'though evidence so far suggests that I'm a slightly more private person than that and more likely to try it with one person first...