'80s causes of death
2024-08-22 20:02:57.902637+02 by Dan Lyke 1 comments
From poisoning LLMs to "nostalgia" for the Reagan years, this captures so much of the zeitgeist: RT monkϵyborg 🦾🐵 @monkeyborg@triangletoot.party
Leading causes of death in the U.S., 1980-89:
Ages 0-1: Demonic possession
2-5: Failure by parents to apply “Mr. Yuk” stickers to caustic household chemicals
6-10: Razor blades in Halloween candy
11-14: Being gagged with a spoon
15-19: Ritual sacrifice by Satanists (D&D players)
20-34: Cocaine
35-49: Injuries sustained while Jazzercising
50-64: Communism
65: Last day on the force before retirement
66-79: Lung cancer
80+: Encounters with disrespectful juvenile street gangs